Early twenties life crisis

The dream has come to life, finally 21!!!  Ow what joy and excitement, wonderful age to reach, you no longer a teenager (glad those days are over) and you are no longer scared of flashing your ID.  It’s all roses until you realise damn! The clock is ticking, I need to make something of my life and I have no idea where to begin.  It dawns on you that you are a lost cause, as if that is not enough you realise that you have responsibilities that go beyond just yourself and you need to make serious money.  Can’t the clock turn back PLEASE?!  And now it hits hard you are suffering an early twenties life crisis.  It doesn’t help that the year has gone by so fast and in just a few months you’ll be 22, that’s when you notice the first wrinkle on your face from worrying.  “Growing up is not ideal but it has to happen” failed attempt at motivating yourself, that is natural too but that’s when faith kicks in and self-confidence has to take the lead in your life

Our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses

The title is very true.  People who are “smart” sometimes do not realise how smart they are because they see so much that they still need to learn, they see so much that they do not know and as a result focus their energy on that.  They are obsessed with using their abilities to the maximum and pushing their capacities, they forget to appreciate all that they are and all that they can do. They lose focus. 

Our best buddy - The toilet

Picture: Google Images

Yes we all love it, it is where we do most of our thinking, release some tension and of course get adventurous.  Have you ever wondered who invented the marvel that is the flushing toilet?

***drum roll please***

In 1596, a flushing toilet was invented and built for Queen Elizabeth I by her Godson, Sir John

http://inventors.about.com/od/pstartinventions/a/Plumbing_3.htm

Now you know who to thank for flushing toilets :)

 

Try a cliche



Picture: Google Images



Today I woke up on the wrong side of the bed because of a gut wrenching feeling from a dream I had.  I thought the day could not get any worse but that was soon proven wrong when I could feel myself feeling sick to my stomach because of the sound of “miss fabulous” hooting her own horn again, I swear when she speaks it feels like an eternity.  From that moment it was clear as day that I will be having a bad day, until a shiver went down my spine as I saw him, I have fallen head over hills in love with him, he takes my breath away.  In his eyes I always see a glimmer of hope at happily ever after.  Just the sight of him is a silver lining to my cloudy day.  I love him more than life itself, but he is still infatuated with Barbie girl, soon he will realise that not all that glitters is gold and I will be there to catch him when he falls.

Sexual communication - why some women cheat



Picture: Google Images



There are a couple of reasons why some women cheat.



1.    The sex life is non-existent, the man is always tired.



2.    The sex is too wild all the time.  A woman needs to be made love to sometimes, she is not a horse.

3.    There is constant fighting in the relationship because of the man’s insecurities, everybody knows insecurity kills the spark.

4.    The man can only last five minutes. It is a letdown gentlemen and will send your women to the one who can do 45 minutes (yes he exists).

5.    The man does not touch her enough.  A woman feels more confident and sexy when her man touches and grabs here and there.

6.    The man does not compliment her enough on her perfomance.  A woman loves compliments.

7.    The man does not talk dirty.  A woman loves to feel wanted.

8.    Traditional sex.  A woman wants to be adventurous in or out of bed, make sure you are well equipped and yes you can bite.

9.    The man does not listen.  Listen to your woman’s sexual needs.

10. No sexual communication. Tell your woman what to do so that she knows that she is satisfying you, she will be confident and will do whatever you want flawlessly.

Brett Murray is sick!



Picture: Google Images



A very controversial painting by Brett Murray has the nation up in arms, who knew an exposed penis could create such uproar.  Brett Murray in his creative genius decided to paint our president with his “mshini” exposed!  

“This man has some nerve” I thought to myself in utter shock.  The painting is majorly distasteful and disrespectful and it has caused nothing short of chaos, Gwede Mantashe even went as far as saying the work of “art” is racist to which I strongly disagree.  The painting is by no means racist, black people need to understand what being “racist” means and stop using it as an excuse in disagreements. 

The president must focus on his job, it was not his real mshini on the painting anyway.  As for Brett Murray, he is a sick man!  What sane person envisions someone else’s genitals and actually builds enough interest to paint them?  Who even thinks of the presidents genitals?

Fellow South Africans, no one has the right to paint anyone in that light (excuse the pun), each of us has the right to do as we wish with our image but we have no right to do as we wish with another person’s image. 



Feelings follow behaviour

Picture: Google Images

Apparently you cannot choose who you love, you just fall in love.  In that case I must be abnormal because I have never loved anyone without choosing to love them, when considering to be in a relationship with someone the first thing that attracts me to them is chemistry.  Can we carry a conversation? Does he make me laugh? Can he take a joke? Is he kind? Does he understand what it means to be a boyfriend?

I analyse his behaviour with other people but mostly with his mother and siblings, the way he talks about them and the way he treats them gives my feelings a direction.  These things tell me if he is worthy of being loved me and whether I should fall for him, my feelings depend on his behaviour. I don’t just develop feelings for some guy, so excuse me if I don’t believe you when you say “it was love at first sight”.

It is better to practise a little than to talk a lot



Picture from Google Images



Take the first step and make amends (you'll realise it's not so hard)

Stop being angry at her / him and laugh about it (its more fun that way)

Love with every fibre, gene, molecule, liquid and muscle that is you (its best route to happiness)

Just when you think “no”, do it! (it'll be worth it)

Spend your last bit of cash on those shoes (you’ll be broke but you’ll look fabulous!)

Say hi to the person you have not greeted for the past 3 years (you think about it anyway)

Send that text (set yourself free)

You think it’s crazy? Then do it (the opportunity is there for a reason after all)

Point is; you do not have a spare life tucked somewhere in your wardrobe so that when you die someone can quickly run and get it so that you can live again. Don't talk about it just do it ;)

Tendencies of Hope: Wedding cake in-the-middle-of-the road

Tendencies of Hope: Wedding cake in-the-middle-of-the road: February 27th 2011 was the day, round about 2 am they said.  February 26th 2011 was the last day I saw him, the day started off with a pet...

Tendencies of Hope: Live a little

Tendencies of Hope: Live a little: "life is about moments that take your breath away" I heard in a movie and strongly agreed!  Its my birthday weekend and these have been the ...

Live a little

"life is about moments that take your breath away" I heard in a movie and strongly agreed!  Its my birthday weekend and these have been the best moments of my life, they truly take my breath away.  If I would die right now I would be able to paint my masterpiece and be proud of it.... What I am getting to is that live your life, there's just one chance, make the best of it and make sure you spend it people that matter, well... even if they don't matter, make sure the memories made with them matter and bring a smile to your lips.  THAT is the beauty of being young, wild and free.  

Signing out to live...

Thando!

Wedding cake in-the-middle-of-the road

February 27th 2011 was the day, round about 2 am they said.  February 26th 2011 was the last day I saw him, the day started off with a petty argument, progressed into a beautiful day filled with rhymes, his last performance, a perfect stroll hand in hand and as they say, the rest is history...  To love is some sort of miracle and to have lost is agonising. I loved like I have never been hurt and when I lost the pain was dreadful... it was intense and I died at the thought that it would last forever. He passed away, his forever came too soon and I was left wishing that it had at least been a wedding cake in-the-middle-of-the road scenario, I would soon be able to forget that kind of pain.

Thoughts about my unborn child

Child welcome to your new home, we call this place world.  I am your mother and hopefully I can say he is your father, nowadays they run baby so be grateful if you have a father.  My prayer for you is that you have come when I have planned you but either way I am overjoyed that you are here, I look at you and feel heavenly rapture, none could come close to the feeling you bring me.
Here you are with ten little fingers and ten little toes, my pride and joy.  You must know that you are the essence of me for you have made me a mother and allowed me to show off my womanhood.  Baby I will do all I can to shield you from the evils of this world, I will teach you how to live a life of integrity, a life where God is everything and from time to time I will remind you that I brought you into this world.  I plead with you my angel to always respect your father and I.  I look forward to raising you and guiding you as you grow my angel.

It is a poor idea to lie to yourself

In life comes a time when one cannot be honest with themselves.  I have told my share of subconscious lies because they comfort me.

• These are times I have told myself to smile when I really needed to cry
• Times I said I'm great whereas I was not
• Times I told myself that it's gonna be ok when I knew very well that I am screwed
• Times I told myself that I will make a way when I knew that I am out of options
• Times I said its done whereas I knew that  I am in a state of panic because I am stuck somewhere
• Times I told myself that I am so over it knowing very well that its been months of pondering about it
• Times when I said its fine and I really wanted to kick you where the sun doesn't shine
• Times when I have said its the right thing to do whereas I knew that it's killing every once of me to utter those words, I don't mean it.
• Times when I told myself that I forgive you knowing full well that I can't let go of it
• Times I have told myself that I am handling it when I knew that I was sinking FAST
• Times when I said I can't do it while I knew that I am just being lazy
• Times when I told myself that this too will pass when I knew that it wont, I am scarred for life

It is a poor idea to lie to yourself but lying to myself keeps me sane in most situations, so shoot me.

The sound of one hand clapping

Friends and family are the closest people to us but they can’t always be there for us. There comes a time when friends will be too busy attending to their own lives and family members will be facing their own crisis situations and believe it, you will be alone.  You will be alone in mistakes that you make and the guilt that follows, you’ll be alone when you are drunk with regret, you will be alone when you need to talk, every body else will be too busy.  
There comes a defining moment in your life  when you need to be able to stand and carry on without the support of loved ones, mommy and / or daddy wont be there to clap for you when you do well.  You need to be able to hear the sound of one hand clapping, that clapping hand is yours and it’s motivating you to keep going.

Not all who wander are lost

In life there are no guarantees, the only guarantee you can be sure of is that you will die.  We wander off to make sure that by the time death comes knocking we have lived our lives, we have pleased our loved ones and have satisfied our thirst for independence.  I always hear in movies and poems that before you die you get time to reflect on your life, at that very moment I want to reflect on all my wanders.  The time when I wandered into a relationship that went bad and the one that went incredibly good, I want to reflect about a time when I wandered into the world of addiction, a time when I wandered into pain and then found the route to happiness again.  I want to reflect on the moments in time that belonged to me, and I want to then smile with the thought of “I was never lost, just wandering, I have lived well”.  Please wonder off, you are not lost because that’s the best masterpiece you can paint for yourself before you draw your last breath.

How do you step from the top of a 100-foot pole?

Simply do what the ANC government has done; Poor communication.

ANC Service delivery fact sheet:

In 1994, only 62% of households had access to clean drinking water – today 93% do.

In 1994, only 50% of households had access to decent sanitation – today 77% do.

In 1994, only 36% of South Africans had access to electricity, today 84% do.

This year the Child-Support Grant will be extended to children aged less than 18 years, an additional 2-million children.

More than 8 million children at primary and secondary schools benefit from school-feeding schemes.

In nurturing a love for education and eliminating finance as a barrier to access to higher education and training, we have offered more opportunities for children of the poor.

Student loans are being converted into bursaries for successful final-year students who qualify for financial aid.

Students in further education and training colleges who qualify for financial aid are now exempted from paying fees.

More women are represented in local government than ever before (about 42% of councillors are women), thanks to the ANC’s gender equality policy.

The above is only to mention a few, our government has done a great job in creating better lives for all.

http://www.anc.org.za/docs/manifesto/2011/lge_manifeston.pdf

Excuse me Mr you are looking

Ladies it’s time we admit that we love it when he is looking.  On a typical day when you are feeling damn good about yourself, whenever you pass a window you can’t help staring at your own reflection. Yes! Ladies we all have those days (but if you don’t girl you need help FAST), those days when you ooze sexyness, confidence is what you are made of and you just can’t help but flaunt what your mama gave you ;).

Every time you walk past a handsome creature (even when he is not so handsome)you cant help but get an instant boost in your ego and of course your step because you know he’s gonna be looking long after you have passed him.  “Men you are welcome to admire”, ever hear that thought creeping in your head and find yourself shaking that booty a tad more than you ought to be? I know I do!

Don't you just love it when he looks and catches himself just seconds short of drooling with THAT facial expression? it makes you feel damn good!  So yes... Excuse meeee Mr you are looking and i kinda like it J .  But be warned ONLY on a good day and remember you can’t touch.

Her troubled soul

We’ve all met a troubled soul somewhere in our lives.

I have lived the best of my abilities, some things that would disappoint you I have avoided successfully.  I have tried to be a model child whom both of you can be proud of and I can only hope that you have seen my efforts.  In all that I am trying to achieve it would be a relief for me to not feel like you are killing my will, it would be nice if you went out of your way to make life easier for me and it would really be nice to see that you are on my side, you want me to succeed.

I too would like to get out of bed because I see a brighter future instead of not being able to sleep because of an aching heart.

A tendency of hope

A tendency of hope is something that we all carry with us just like our beating hearts.  It is something that we have in common no matter what type of background we come from, funny how we put so much effort into highlighting our differences that we miss out on how much we have in common.

We have our differences but at the core of it all we are all flesh and bones, beyond that we have a heart and a brain, beyond that we’re all human and we all need the same things to survive in this life.  We need something to believe in, when we don’t have that we need to have hope that we will discover our purpose and faith to be able to lead us to that purpose. 

We all live by the same core foundations, we do not need to be so different, it’s just not natural.

Something great about him

The craziest thing is that he does not see it.

He has a tendency of saying all these amazing things that cause my ears to have a sensational buzz when I hear them, things like “I will always treat you like a lady”, isn’t that just beautiful J.

In the media we are bombarded with stories of men who are abusive, insensitive, selfish and all else that is negative.  I wish we saw more of my kind of man, the man that is human.  He is loving and always goes out of his way to provide for his woman. 

This man has soft hands with a soothing touch, he is a gift to his woman and he does not see how great he is because he is always admiring the beauty, serenity and grace that is in his woman’s strength.

I hear him talk of his legs that annoy the flip out of me because they are better looking than mine and I chuckle because he seriously thinks that the most attractive feature about him, no doubt his sexy smile weakens my knees!  This man’s eyes are different, his naughty streak is different too.  He is a true reflection of perfection to his woman, he is hers and she is his.

I call him my crazysweet, he is miraculous because there is indeed something great about him.

Dear haters

I don’t care enough to hate you too.

I don’t mind enough to be bothered by what you think you know.

I do mind all the “publicity” that you are giving me, if I wanted to be popular I would be.

I don’t do anything for you so please return the favour.

Lastly, you were not brought on this earth for me.  Please find your reason for existence.

Sincerely,

Me.

We are what we do

Things are not always what they seem, we see things that people do and immediately jump to the conclusion that they are what we see them do. We see a youngster abusing alcohol and all sorts of other drugs whilst he thinks he is having “fun”, he is on self-destruction mode and without knowing his story we conclude that he is a drunkard with no hope in life.

A young lady, university student at that, who has a chance at a future with limitless opportunities.  She is beautiful, sexy and intelligent yet there she is sampling each and every guy who looks her way.  She inherits the labels of being a whore and a slut, without knowing her story we are quick to judge and say she is what she does.

We forget that we all have coping mechanisms, we seek for help but unfortunately some of us do so in the wrong places.  Point is, we are not always what we do.

If I were the boss

If I, Nothando Zantsi were the boss, it would be simple to forecast my life. We've bought into the idea of individualism even though we know that in reality, we are all living for someone else.  In all that we do we have to think of other people, even when we are rewarding ourselves for a great achievement we have to do so “responsibly” in consideration of other people.We work hard, find walls collapsing on us but we still get up! We do so because we know that in life we are not alone, we do not live in a state of individualism even though we sometimes imagine that we do. 

 If I were the boss of my own life, I would be in a sanctuary that allowed me to marvel at the seemingly amazing idea of individualism.

We are afraid of the wrong things

Picture from ID ImgDaddy

Recently in the news there was a story about mob violence, a Khayelitsha community had beaten up and burned three criminals to death.  I tweeted about this and a response from one of my followers suggested that those who don’t seek justice opt for chaos and anarchy.  I felt a strong sense of disagreement because these people seek peace and order in their communities, they work hard just like every South African who wants to have a better quality of life and for someone to just come and take at gun point their sweat and efforts is unacceptable.

Upon raising that view, another follower of mine on tweeter said that in the process of using that medium as a remedy to the problem the non-criminal become criminals, I felt that this was a very powerful statement.   People have resorted to taking the law into their own hands because they feel that they have been failed by the justice system in their communities.

I lived in the township for a number of years and these “suspected” (according to the law) criminals cause chaos in the communities.  They do all that they do for all to see, they are on some power trip, boasting about their ability to take your life whenever they please without an ounce of remorse to an extent that people live in fear. 

Mob violence in these communities is an indication that they have simply realised that they are afraid of the wrong things.

Two people come out of a building into a story.

You walk into a story that you have fed

I cannot remember the title of the show, but it was airing on SABC 1.  It was a show about “street kids” and one was given a chance to reconcile with his mother, leave the drugs, the street life and go back home.  The story of that one man showed that not everybody who lives on the street left home because they were not happy or treated badly.  He chose to walk out of that building and into a story of street life.  He walked into a life of theft, a life of no guidance and a life of no faith. 

He left his son, mother and mother of his son and chose to be useless.  I felt a rush of anger because he simply chose the easy way out.  I don’t care who says what, but it is easy to not have to worry about providing for people, it is easy to not have to worry about what the future holds. 

Whenever each and everyone of us walk out of what ever we building we walk out of, two people walk out;  The first person is the responsible one whose walking out of there to fulfil their destiny that will benefit the future.  The second person is the one that is giving up. 

Between these two people the one that wins is the one you feed, from that building you can only walk into a story that you have fed.

Fish falling from the sky

A woman’s body is majestic, any man gay or straight can attest to this. I say this because women need to wise up and realise their power.  It is ridiculous to see so many stories all over the media and our communitites of women enduring abuse, from emotional all the way to physical abuse.  "Leave him", "you deserve better", "he is not worth it" women are told all the time.

I read a piece that said that a woman was built from the side of a man to always be equal and be beside her man.  Not to be walked over, stepped on nor bullied.  There have been many explanations as to why women stay in these abusive relationships but I still do not fully understand, maybe it will take something rare like a fish falling from the sky for her to realise that it’s possible to leave and be happy.

 

What is the colour of the wind?

At a lecture, I was reminded of my holiday at home in the Eastern Cape.  This particular day I had gone to town to make copies and fax them, I searched for a place that offered this service and eventually found one, needless to say that I had to wait in a very long queue.  That’s when it hit me that I could offer this service myself, the demand is there and this one place cannot accommodate all these people.  Moral of the story is that on this day the colour of the wind was that of opportunity.

On a really good day which is always determined to me by my mood, I find humour in the most trivial things, especially in the different dress codes I come across.  The colour of the wind in Cape Town on such a day is that of my beautiful smile.

 And then there are those gloomy days, whereby it would take a very special person giving me a few millions to put a smile on my face and on those days the colour of the wind is simply annoying.

I have a favourite colour of the wind though and that’s the colour of happiness, in my life that’s the colour I love to feel.  Good or bad day the feeling and sight of happiness keeps me going.

How hard is it to follow instructions?

How bad must we mess up for the sake of feeling a sense of accomplishment and achievement?

If only there was a set of instructions to living life, no, make that the best life.  Right?

A simple instruction such as leaving if your partner if they ill treat you, a simple instruction such as quitting smoking when you are pregnant, a simple instruction such as quitting alcohol when you have liver problems.  I could go on and on about how simple instructions are, after all they tell you what to do.

 Why then is it so difficult to follow simple instructions?  We always complain about not knowing what to do or not knowing how to do something, but when we are told how to do something we either mess it up or we don’t do it at all.

 Could it be that we are a people who love being lost? So that when we finally decide to follow the simple instruction we can feel a sense of accomplishment and achievement?