Wedding cake in-the-middle-of-the road

February 27th 2011 was the day, round about 2 am they said.  February 26th 2011 was the last day I saw him, the day started off with a petty argument, progressed into a beautiful day filled with rhymes, his last performance, a perfect stroll hand in hand and as they say, the rest is history...  To love is some sort of miracle and to have lost is agonising. I loved like I have never been hurt and when I lost the pain was dreadful... it was intense and I died at the thought that it would last forever. He passed away, his forever came too soon and I was left wishing that it had at least been a wedding cake in-the-middle-of-the road scenario, I would soon be able to forget that kind of pain.

Thoughts about my unborn child

Child welcome to your new home, we call this place world.  I am your mother and hopefully I can say he is your father, nowadays they run baby so be grateful if you have a father.  My prayer for you is that you have come when I have planned you but either way I am overjoyed that you are here, I look at you and feel heavenly rapture, none could come close to the feeling you bring me.
Here you are with ten little fingers and ten little toes, my pride and joy.  You must know that you are the essence of me for you have made me a mother and allowed me to show off my womanhood.  Baby I will do all I can to shield you from the evils of this world, I will teach you how to live a life of integrity, a life where God is everything and from time to time I will remind you that I brought you into this world.  I plead with you my angel to always respect your father and I.  I look forward to raising you and guiding you as you grow my angel.

It is a poor idea to lie to yourself

In life comes a time when one cannot be honest with themselves.  I have told my share of subconscious lies because they comfort me.

• These are times I have told myself to smile when I really needed to cry
• Times I said I'm great whereas I was not
• Times I told myself that it's gonna be ok when I knew very well that I am screwed
• Times I told myself that I will make a way when I knew that I am out of options
• Times I said its done whereas I knew that  I am in a state of panic because I am stuck somewhere
• Times I told myself that I am so over it knowing very well that its been months of pondering about it
• Times when I said its fine and I really wanted to kick you where the sun doesn't shine
• Times when I have said its the right thing to do whereas I knew that it's killing every once of me to utter those words, I don't mean it.
• Times when I told myself that I forgive you knowing full well that I can't let go of it
• Times I have told myself that I am handling it when I knew that I was sinking FAST
• Times when I said I can't do it while I knew that I am just being lazy
• Times when I told myself that this too will pass when I knew that it wont, I am scarred for life

It is a poor idea to lie to yourself but lying to myself keeps me sane in most situations, so shoot me.

The sound of one hand clapping

Friends and family are the closest people to us but they can’t always be there for us. There comes a time when friends will be too busy attending to their own lives and family members will be facing their own crisis situations and believe it, you will be alone.  You will be alone in mistakes that you make and the guilt that follows, you’ll be alone when you are drunk with regret, you will be alone when you need to talk, every body else will be too busy.  
There comes a defining moment in your life  when you need to be able to stand and carry on without the support of loved ones, mommy and / or daddy wont be there to clap for you when you do well.  You need to be able to hear the sound of one hand clapping, that clapping hand is yours and it’s motivating you to keep going.

Not all who wander are lost

In life there are no guarantees, the only guarantee you can be sure of is that you will die.  We wander off to make sure that by the time death comes knocking we have lived our lives, we have pleased our loved ones and have satisfied our thirst for independence.  I always hear in movies and poems that before you die you get time to reflect on your life, at that very moment I want to reflect on all my wanders.  The time when I wandered into a relationship that went bad and the one that went incredibly good, I want to reflect about a time when I wandered into the world of addiction, a time when I wandered into pain and then found the route to happiness again.  I want to reflect on the moments in time that belonged to me, and I want to then smile with the thought of “I was never lost, just wandering, I have lived well”.  Please wonder off, you are not lost because that’s the best masterpiece you can paint for yourself before you draw your last breath.

How do you step from the top of a 100-foot pole?

Simply do what the ANC government has done; Poor communication.

ANC Service delivery fact sheet:

In 1994, only 62% of households had access to clean drinking water – today 93% do.

In 1994, only 50% of households had access to decent sanitation – today 77% do.

In 1994, only 36% of South Africans had access to electricity, today 84% do.

This year the Child-Support Grant will be extended to children aged less than 18 years, an additional 2-million children.

More than 8 million children at primary and secondary schools benefit from school-feeding schemes.

In nurturing a love for education and eliminating finance as a barrier to access to higher education and training, we have offered more opportunities for children of the poor.

Student loans are being converted into bursaries for successful final-year students who qualify for financial aid.

Students in further education and training colleges who qualify for financial aid are now exempted from paying fees.

More women are represented in local government than ever before (about 42% of councillors are women), thanks to the ANC’s gender equality policy.

The above is only to mention a few, our government has done a great job in creating better lives for all.

http://www.anc.org.za/docs/manifesto/2011/lge_manifeston.pdf